In Search of Clarity

After spending several years working in palliative care, Bronnie Ware, a nurse in Australia, wrote a book called, “The top five regrets of the dying.”

Ware found that those in their final days of life were able to see with great clarity what was most important in their lives. And when asked about regrets, the same common themes came up again and again.

Here are the five most common:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

It’s not surprising that many of the things we stress about daily, like finances and petty differences, don’t make the list. Clearly, horse racing’s participants are not immune from this, as it often feels like we’ve become very good at getting swept up in the worry of the next great controversy.

Whether it’s backstretch politics, what’s happening in the next barn, or a decision by an organization, racetrack or government body, it often feels that collectively, our blood is always boiling. While I’m certainly not advocating that we put our heads in the sand about industry problems, the act of carrying around outrage and a feeling of helplessness also does little to move the ball forward.

Truthfully, in our quietest and most reflective moments, most of us would likely admit that we are extremely fortunate to be involved in this industry.

In honor of our sport, I’ve come up with what I believe harness racing would say, if it were in its final days of life, being asked about its regrets.

1. I wish we had introduced more people to the horse.

2. I wish we had the courage to change and grow our sport, beautifully, for the whole world to see.

3. I wish we had spent more time talking about why we love what we do, rather than why we dislike it.

4. I wish we let down our guard and allowed ourselves to pump our fists at the finish line, and appreciate life, even as it exists outside the oval.

5. I wish we had hugged our families, our friends, and our horses, a little tighter and a little more sincerely when we had the chance.

Of course, regrets of the dying are a lot more powerful when understood by the living.

While it’s tougher to find clarity when you’re in the middle of the daily grind, smile today and appreciate all you have.

- Trot Editor Darryl Kaplan
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