Hello, this is PETA calling

Published: November 20, 2008 03:13 am EST

Ah, PETA. So hip, so rich, so smart. B-list celebrities line up to get gloriously naked for a PETA cause because they know the world is watching. Right now, an ad campaign featuring the image of former 3rd Rock star Kristen Johnston (sprawled naked across a fiberglass steed) is plastered across Central Park.

After targeting the thoroughbred industry earlier this year (re: Eight Belles), PETA goes for the exactor with an attack on New York City’s horse-drawn carriage industry. The clever tagline: “Don’t Get Taken For A Ride. Horse-Drawn Carriages Are Cruel.”

Here’s what keeps me awake on nights like these: visions of my favourite B-list celebrities perched naked and alluring in a racebike, with a whip clenched provocatively between their teeth. Accompanying message: “Whip Your Partner, Not Your Pony. Whipping Racehorses Is Cruel.

Here’s Johnston’s sell-line from the PETA website. I’ve taken the liberty of changing just a handful of words (in bold) to demonstrate how neatly this exactor could become a triactor:

“I was blown away by how these horses live, or actually I should say, don’t live,“ said Johnston. “The horses go from this horrible trotting job, where they’re pulling people around the racetrack all day, to this tiny jail cell in this building that’s like a cramped parking garage. I’d say to tourists considering coming to Ontario, there’s so much amazing stuff to do here. But please do something else. Go ice-skating, see a show, go shopping. I hope within the next year that there are no more horse races.”

Top that sensational scenario with a few colourful illustrations of how the whip looks and sounds as drivers gather the lines in one hand to take proper aim, and you’ve got a bonafide tearjerker.

Listen, I know that racehorses are bred to race, love to race, and that the majority live in either good or great quarters. I know that the vast majority are handled professionally — with care, respect and dignity and that there are many regulatory safeguards to protect them on several levels. From a public relations perspective, I believe this industry could address all of those concerns with some thoughtful discussion and clarification of the facts.

But, as illustrated in Johnston’s original text and the taglines that accompany these campaigns, PETA’s sales strategy is the evocation of emotion. Kristen Johnston sprawled naked on a horse makes you hot, and her tale of woe leaves you cold. Those tactics of contrast have made PETA the largest animal rights organization in the world, with more than two million members and supporters.

Whipping a horse does not fly with the general public of today. I still contend that the use of the whip remains one of our biggest liabilities. I hope the ORC’s review of the current whipping rules will bring change.

And, I hope it comes before I have to drive past a billboard of Fran Drescher naked in a sulky. {Shudder}

Have something to say about this? Log in or create an account to post a comment.